Sports Parents-Jimmy's Approach

I read an interesting, but disturbing article in The York Times sports section today. Bill Pennington describes a recent incident at a private all-girls Catholic high school in Connecticut where a father upset that his daughter had been suspended for three softball games because she missed a game to attend a prom, clubbed the coach six times with an aluminum bat. He goes on to say that “youth sports experts are well aware of the trend toward a new category of confrontations-those between parents and coaches.” These experts point to one overriding factor as the cause-pursuit for college athletic scholarships.

While this may be true, I suspect it is really a more complex issue. Why we are as involved as spectators in our children’s or grandchildren’s sports activities? Is it to show support? Is it because we enjoy watching kids play or could it be we want our children to become who we were or were not in our youth? Maybe we can learn something from the way my dad approached my development as a swimmer.

When I was a young kid swimming competitively at the Germantown Y, I wondered why my dad never came to my meets as did so many other parents. He never attended my high school dual meets or college meets, until the Temple meet during my sophomore year. Most of you have heard me tell that story. He did attend the two most important meets of my career. They were the two times Central High School competed for the city championship.

It took me many years to begin to understand what he was teaching me. 1) You’re just a kid, have fun, you don’t need any more pressure from your father than what you get at home. 2) Go as far as you can on your own. 3) I’ll be there to support you at the really critical times.

Jimmy was such a competitive person and great coach that he could easily have made me a much better swimmer and probably have dominated my career, but he chose a different approach and I learned a valuable lesson.

I welcome your comments.